It is almost 2020 and the tables have turned! Girls no longer wait for their knight in shining armor to come into their homes and judge them based on their looks and how their tea tastes. They are now out there and curving men like they own the world. My daddi tells me that she had only seen my dada after her nikkah. Not 2 minutes before their nikkah, not even when she got dada’s proposal. And even if she did there was no way in hell or heaven that she could’ve refused to marry him (well she wouldn’t have anyway; my dada was super nice) because that’s how shadis worked back then. You just couldn’t say ‘no’.
Now when I compare that era with the time we’re living in right now, it is not just different, IT’S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE! Not only girls but parents also have a distinctive approach. They find an easy way out! Going from “Larko say dosti rakhne ki ya baat karnay ki koi zarurat nahi” to “Tumhara koi dost nahi jissay tum pasand karte ho?”. they first make it haram to talk to boys outside of school or university but also expect us to find a husband there? Esay kesay chalay ga?
Even when parents do find a suiter, all we need to know is a name and the rest will be taken care of; Where does he work? What’s his favorite go-to lunch place? Why was he in Hong-Kong in 2011? Who gave him that black watch for his 21st birthday? And even the name of the girl he dated when he was 16 years old. I can swear by this! I know girls who can find out EVERYTHING about a person in less than 24 hours. Authentic information with proof! So, if something doesn’t add up, they waste no time to reject it. No doubt that women have become extremely picky throughout the years but it’s better than getting beat up by your husband and his family, being sold to other men, live with someone who is tharki for any and every girl or making a maid of a wife. Honestly, the list is too long to get into. So, you can’t blame us. screening process is a must!
There was a time when girls and their families used to be impressed by how much the man earned and the place where he worked. All they cared about was securing the future financially. No one gave a thought about the emotional facets. However, times have changed for good. As more girls are now getting a better education, working and taking on more responsibilities than just taking care of their homes, the hunt for rich rishtas has somewhat lessened which brings focus on literally everything else that a man does or is like. His personality, his manners, his education, his hobbies, etc. Sorry gentlemen! Its time to actually become a better person. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered on how to not be an asshole. (aren’t we a delight?!)
ARE YOU A FAMILY GUY OR A MAMA’S BOY?
The first and foremost would be how you are with your family. My Ama always told me that if you need to see a trailer of what kind of importance and respect a guy is going to have for you after marriage, just observe how he is with his mother and sisters! To this date, nothing I’ve heard is more practical than this advice. Nowadays, having a good stable relationship with family is important for a lot of girls but there’s a thin line between being a family guy and being a mama’s boy. This balance is important. It can either make or break the deal. No girl wants to be with a man who doesn’t have his own voice and capability to make decisions himself. Your mother doesn’t have to know everything that goes on between you and your partner, grow up!
A big fat NO! if you think girls want men who are always blabbering sarcastic comments thinking they’re just being funny then you’re wrong. IT IS NOT FUNNY AND WE DON’T WANT THAT! Being sarcastic all the time only tells us that you are immature and never to be taken seriously. Imagine you come home from work after a long day and right there, in your home, your loved one is ready to make jokes on your poor life choices. Matlab bahir bhe miserable raho aur gher mein bhe. So drop this insensitive trait before she drops off her wedding invitation for you
I think in today’s world, funny guys have the best scope. Where half of the world is depressed and the other half is stressed, its best to have a personal stand up comedian. funny guys are empathetic because they had to develop a sense of humor to survive some shitty situations so they are often more in tune with other people’s emotions than most. so no bad days with a funny guy! as long as you are being funny at the right place and at the right time, you’re gold!
A quick tip: don’t make jokes about her weight, whether she’s chubby or skinny. She will lose her shit!
THE ‘SIRF BAATEN KARWA LO’ MEN
About 80% of Pakistani men are all talk and no action. Every day, we hear stories about men who sweet talk their way into girl’s heart, promising the world and more but when its time to deliver, haseen haseen bahanay aajatay hy! That not even the worst part! The worst part is when the girl decides to move on to better things in life, they blame the girls for not waiting long enough for them. Hello? It is not our fault that you’re too much of a wuss to make things happen for yourself! remember guys! ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!
EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE MEN
Women left the trend of emotionally fixing men in 2015. I’ve seen parents finding girls for their sons in hopes that she will come on a flying carpet, with a magic wand in her hand, *abra kadabra* *poof*; new son who this? IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO FIX YOUR SONS AUNTY! if you, being the mother can’t figure your son out. Why and how would you expect us to do it for you? We do not have time for men who suppresses their emotions and expect the women to pry the love out of them.! Boy bye!
Please don’t think these 5 things are going to be enough for you to make a girl happy but it is better to have a few extra tricks and tips up your sleeves in this cut-throat competition!
Liked this blog? Read our Getting Married (Gone Wrong).