Everyone has had their share of problems and tragedies that make or break them- thrashing them back in the choking waters when the tide was high. It is also true that we have our own capacity to bear pain, hence knowing better what we go through than anyone else. (Health blog) So when someone tells us to move on, it is hard to accept until we are ready.
The truth is, we are never ready unless we are willing to let go.
Nevertheless, it is important that you accept how somethings just cannot be held onto forever.
Forgiveness is for yourself
We often refrain from forgiving because we think it is the best payback. It makes us feel like we have, at least some control over the situation. Instead, we only give more power to someone else over how we feel. The truth is, we are the weakest when we cannot forgive. Sure it takes a lot of courage to be the bigger person, but there is more to that. Let me make it easy for you. Forgiveness for someone else is actually forgiveness for yourself; by letting go of the negativity you have been holding onto for so long. Anything that is bad for us seems like a good choice as per human nature, and not forgiving is rather unhealthy as you cling onto something that will only hurt you more.
Drop down that emotional baggage!
Life is not easy, it is unpredictable and cruel, but it is also very short. Everyday has a new challenge, new obstacles, and if you keep carrying along your past problems, they will begin to define you- and not in a positive way. It is true that it makes you who you are, but the choice of where you go from there, is solely your own. There are always more than one ways to deal with what life throws at you. One can either keep it all in, be bitter, harsh and cruel, or learn to let go, be more passionate and empathetic instead. The choice you make defines you, more than what you had to deal with. So drop what is gone, pick up the life you are offered and live it!
It was a lesson not a punishment
Many people have always been harsh on themselves for their shortcomings. Human nature is another name for mistakes. If you are perfect, you are not human, and so you are inflicting pain onto yourself by striving for everything to be just right. If you messed up, so what? Who has not? Punishing yourself for the rest of your life is not wise. What happens is meant to make you learn, not suffer. Even if you have to actually suffer in order to learn, do not punish yourself for your growth.
In the end, I know the most painful thing is waiting for closure. But closure is neither given, nor taken. It comes when you accept and make peace with yourself. And when I talk of forgiveness, I hope we can all forgive ourselves before we forgive anyone else.